Measuring Up
by Aksannyi
Summary: A late night in the bullpen leads to a bit of curiosity on the part of one Tony DiNozzo. Ziva just happens to catch him in the act of doing something kind of ... embarrassing. Rated M for a reason. No spoilers whatsoever.


**Don't ask where this idea came from. Just don't. There is very little plot to this fic. Don't say I didn't warn you.**

 **There are absolutely zero spoilers anywhere. Assume they're still on the same team (and, well, continent). Timeframe is irrelevant.**

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 **Measuring Up**

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"What are you doing?" Ziva's voice rang out across the empty locker room, the eerie silence of the building in its late-night near-deserted state shattered by her accusatory words.

She _had_ caught him in a rather … strange position, he had to admit, and he felt his cheeks flush hotly at how he must look to her, despite the fact that she'd wandered, completely of her own volition, into the men's locker room as casually as she invaded every other gendered space she'd never bothered to respect.

Tony wasn't sure why he was so surprised at this point.

And yet, he found himself struggling to explain the reason why he was butt-naked, bent over himself with a measuring tape, a long-standing curiosity about his own manhood itching to be satisfied. "Is that my tape measure?" She accused, her voice sounding unamused to any but the most skilled in her particular brand of intonation. She was quite amused, Tony noted, and he felt a strange rush of both shame and excitement flow through him at the idea.

"Yeah," he admitted, letting it drop from one of his hands and dangle between his legs. He dared not turn to face her directly, instead opting to turn his head toward her, his ass cheeks bare before her as he gulped inwardly at the beating he would likely receive for having gone through her desk. Silently, he asked himself when he would ever learn. Ziva. _Ninja._ She _always_ _found_ _out_.

She ignored his admission, however, and crossed the room toward him, noting as she did that he had one of his hands in a most … _unnatural_ position for what she suspected he had been hoping to accomplish. "You are doing it wrong," she announced, and his face flushed hotly, not just at the knowledge that she was currently surveying everything he had to offer, but the fact that she was criticizing his … form?

"Doing what wrong?" He choked out, desperately trying to maintain some hold on his dignity, though Ziva hardly seemed to be concerned about his concept of masculinity in the moment, only on the pursuit of correcting whatever it was that she found wrong with what he was doing. Which was, quite plainly, measuring himself.

Apparently, the fact that he was doing it at all, and with her tape measure, was _not_ the most wrong thing about the situation to Ziva David.

"You're not supposed to measure from all the way back there," she supplied, and stepped toward him, reaching forward and taking the tape measure from him, noting with a smirk as he reacted to the way her fingers brushed the side of his manhood, and – god help him – she was doing it on purpose.

He gulped.

"Stand still," she instructed, and he merely nodded as she took him into her hand, hardening him with just a few short strokes – _how_ had she done that – and lined the tape measure up to the base of his cock, where it met the skin of his torso.

"What the–" he sucked in a breath at the feel of her hand on his skin, despite the almost … _clinical_ way she was touching him, he felt himself begin to lose himself in the feeling of her hand upon him. In all the ways he'd imagined that she'd come to him, this … no. Never this.

She slowly ran her other hand along the length of him, unraveling the measuring tape as she did so, leaning in close to take a look at the number, raising her eyebrows at him as she did so. "Were you worried," she said in a husky tone, her breaths coming out hot against him, serving only to increase the buildup of tension he felt in his groin, "that you would be … _inadequate?"_ She teased, her voice oozing with what Tony could only describe as pure sexuality.

"Of course not," he breathed out, his confidence genuine as he caught her eye, noting again that her hand was still wrapped tightly around the base of his dick. "Uh, Ziva …" he trailed off, looking down at her hand and back to her again, as if to somehow express to her that she was still grasping him, making him rather uncomfortable in one of the best possible ways.

"Yes?" she asked coyly, and she gave him a little squeeze, one that sent a jolt of electricity through him that caused him to gasp involuntarily.

"If you're not going to … _play_ with it," he began, leaning in closer to her, glancing at her lips as he did so, "could you maybe–"

He was interrupted by her making the move, taking his mouth with a fervor he hadn't known she'd possessed, devouring him with her lips and pressing against him, her hand slowly stroking him in time to the slow movements of her tongue within his mouth. She moaned into him, giving in to the sensation of his naked warmth as _Tony_ surrounded her, his arms wrapped tightly around her as he gave himself fully to the desire she'd awakened in him. He pulled away just for a moment to whisper, _"Fuck,"_ under his breath before diving back in, grasping for the hem of her shirt to reach under in order to wrap his arms around her bare waist, needing to see and touch, skin upon skin.

Taking the hint, she backed away for only the few moments it took to lift her shirt over her head and toss it aside before sliding back into his arms, wrapping her hands around his neck and taking everything he had to offer. Tony wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her tightly toward her, his length pressing against her making her hot with need. "Tony," she gasped against his lips, and his arms tightened around her as he slid them up, slowly, working to unclasp her bra and slide it down her arms, dropping it to the floor.

"Wow," he gasped as he leaned back to admire her, taking in the form of her breasts bared before him, before pulling her forward and back into his arms, reveling in the feel of her soft, bare skin against his harder form. Ziva shivered into him, a tremor of desire shooting through her at the way her body fit so neatly against his, desire pooling from somewhere deep within her, the need threatening to overwhelm her.

"Pants," he whispered, and she didn't respond, only looked at him intently as she unbuttoned her jeans and slid them slowly down her legs, eyeing him the entire way. His gaze was so adoring, so awestruck, that she felt as though she might just combust from the fierce desire rippling between them. Something seemed to stop, then, as she stepped out of the pants she'd left to pool at her ankles and gazed deeply at him, her eyes darkened with lust as she stood nearly bare before him, daring him to come and take what she'd so been wanting to give him.

Slowly, she raised her lips into a slight smile, an invitation he gladly took, reaching out to take her hand and pull her – _hard –_ against him. She collided with him almost instantaneously, but rather than lose their balance and topple, she felt him steady her, their forms merging together, one solid being made of two desperate souls.

"Come," she whispered in his ear, licking lightly at his lobe before backing away, leading him toward the shower stalls, turning on the hot water and running her hand beneath it while it warmed as he played at the waistband of her panties, light kisses playing at the back of her neck, causing her to shrug her shoulders at the ticklish sensation.

Looking over her shoulder at him, she took her hand out of the stream of water, running it first along her collarbone, and then slowly down to caress her breast, reveling in the feeling of her own light touch against her already heated skin. Keenly aware of his gaze behind her, she lowered her hand further, reaching the hem of her panties and nodding slightly toward him, as if to ask him to help her remove them, his hands still lightly teasing at her waistline.

In tandem, they slid the garment lower, exposing her bare skin inch by inch before him, and Ziva shivered at the way his fingers lightly caressed the curve of her ass as he helped her remove her panties, delighting in the way even the lightest graze of his fingertips caused her to weaken at the knees, her need to feel him already so great. The panties fell to the floor as she grasped his hand, stepping out of the lacy garment and into the deliciously hot water pouring from the shower, pulling him with her and into a hot, wet, and wild embrace.

The water cascaded upon their bodies as they clung to one another, passionately grasping and tangling with one another, the sound of the water tumbling to the floor masking their loud moans of pleasure as they gave in to one another, their hands groping and gripping in the steam, each kiss taking with it the taste of the hot water, tasting and teasing against the tiled wall. Their lips collided, tongues meeting one another in the most delicious of dances, wet skin against wet skin in a frenzy of touching and tasting. So heady was the feeling of merely _tasting_ him, his lips upon hers, that Ziva could hardly imagine any more pleasure than the feeling of him, his heat, his moisture, his _everything_ surrounding her as he kept coming for more, every kiss, every nibble, every _taste_ , intoxicating in its ability to drive them into one another.

"Touch …" she gasped at his ear, unable to finish the sentence as he obliged immediately, his hand rubbing hungrily at her breast, first cupping her lightly in his hand and then teasing her taut nipple to excitement, delighting in the way she threw her head back against the tiled wall. Encouraged by her reaction to just this touch, he leaned his head down to take her breast in his mouth, teasing at her nipple with his tongue, causing her to cry out with pleasure at the sensation. Deliriously hot water coupled with dizzyingly hot steam couldn't match the heat of her own body's response to his touch, and as he moved to take the other breast in his mouth, she closed her eyes and gasped with pleasure, moaning out a simple, _"Yes…"_ in response.

She reached out to run her hands through his hair, delighting at the way the droplets framed his face, the steam doing nothing to mask the desire in his eyes as he kissed lower, slowly working his way down to her hot core and causing her to tremble despite the scorching temperature of the shower and his body around her.

He kissed lightly at her thighs, crouching down to be level with her, the water running off his back as it cascaded first from Ziva, down her body, and then onto him, creating a sensuous waterfall, the likes of which was the most beautiful he had ever laid eyes upon. He reached with his fingers to graze lightly at her center, marveling in how deliciously aroused he could tell she was, despite the water running down both their forms. He teased with just his fingertips, reaching just enough to graze her most sensitive skin, and she leaned into his hand, silently begging him to touch her where she needed to feel him the most. He grazed again, and she jerked forward a second time, frustrated at his torturous play, gasping out, "Tony, _please,"_ as he pulled away from the contact, her eyes pleading with him to take her, _all_ of her.

He happily obliged, finally reaching to touch her, his thumb grazing lightly at her clit as he slid one finger slowly inside of her, chuckling as she inched forward to grind on his hand. "So wet," he remarked reverently, before stroking her more quickly, caressing her insides with his hand, thoroughly enjoying the gasps that fell from her lips at each stroke, each touch. She was exquisite, every inch of her, and he couldn't resist the urge to lean forward and taste her, running his tongue lightly over her sensitive clit, feeling himself grow desperately hard at the sound she made when he licked her, the most sensual and primal moan he had ever heard from her lips, more wondrous still that it came from _Ziva._

Tony continued to touch and tease, his hand still working her, gently kneading her insides as he ran his tongue skillfully over her clit, delighting in every moan and jerk of pleasure, the way she could barely stand upright as he held her tightly to him, her hands roaming her breasts while the water still cascaded on top of them as she came, and he felt her shudder above him, her body twitching and humming with pleasure as she called his name, over and over again, a song he'd never dreamed he'd hear; a chorus from heaven itself.

Giving her one last kiss on the inside of her thigh before slowly working his way back up, he again reveled at each inch of skin she'd bared to him, each part of her beauty that made her so decidedly perfect. "You're so fucking beautiful," he moaned as he stood up again, taking her lips in his own, feeling her melt into him as she lost herself in the heady pull of his embrace. She could taste herself on his lips, the sweet taste of _them_ , and their bodies coming together. Her body was still humming with pleasure, still coming down from the sweet, sweet heights he'd taken her to, and yet she still wanted – no, _needed –_ more. More of _him,_ of _them,_ of everything they'd ever shared in this, this golden moment in time.

She pulled away, pausing to kiss him once more, lightly, before stepping forward and pushing him against the wall, adjusting the shower head to follow them, the water still delightfully hot despite their time spent under its relentless stream. "My turn," she whispered before taking his mouth again, feeling his arms wrap tightly around her as she pressed against him, reveling in the feel of his hard length pressing against her naked body.

Ziva started to work herself lower, first kissing around his jawline, and down to his collarbone, and Tony groaned at his realization of where she was headed. She merely murmured an, "Mmm," in response as she reached her hand between them to grasp at his cock, by now, almost painfully hard as it strained between them. She stroked him expertly, nothing like her earlier grip on him, but more sensual, softer, and yet more insistent.

It was his turn to moan with pleasure as she stroked him, his hand coming to rest on her cheek, caressing her face as she stroked him, one hand expertly twisting his cock under the torrid stream, the other gently cupping his balls, both hands working him into a frenzy, the likes of which he couldn't remember _ever_ having felt. "Ziva," he gasped, and she looked up at him then, just for a second, before leaning forward and taking him into her mouth, her tongue swirling around the tip of his cock. " _Christ,"_ he moaned, leaning his head back against the shower wall and arching into her mouth, his own mouth hanging open, hot breaths panting out as she pleasured him, her lips and tongue working a spectacular kind of magic he hadn't known she'd possessed.

She was a vision, water streaming down upon her wet hair, droplets affixed to her skin as she knelt before him, a hot smirk on her face as she licked him from base to tip, meeting his gaze with her own as she devoured him again, and it was all he could do to keep standing upright at the sight of her, the feel of her, _all_ of her.

He had the sudden need to feel her, to join with her, to finally have her wrapped tightly around him, and as he touched her cheek again, looking at her intently, she read his intention immediately, slowly giving him one last lick as she withdrew, her hand still gripping him and stroking him lovingly as he pulled her toward him, still caressing her jaw as he leaned in for a tender yet passionate kiss.

His tenderness was surprising, and Ziva stilled momentarily against him, lifting her hands to wrap around his neck and into his hair, feeling, for all the heat between them, this overwhelming surge of … _something …_ in her chest, something _more_ than just desire, than lust, and she kissed him with a renewed sense of vigor as she realized – and she sensed he did, too – that this was more than just a locker room fling between them. "I need you," she gasped against his lips, and he spun them around so that it was Ziva now against the shower wall, the hot water still raining down on them.

She lifted her leg, just enough to allow him access, and he held her firmly, bracing her against the wall as she reached between them, taking him again into her hand, stroking him slowly, once, then a second time, before tugging lightly and guiding him toward her entrance, her gaze locked upon his as she felt his tip pressed against her, the heat of him sending a tremor through her, her need for him threatening to consume her. "Please," she gasped against him, her words a kiss caressing his own, and he pressed forward and slid into her, tantalizingly slowly, _torturously_ slowly, and she shuddered again as he filled her completely, a tangled moan falling from his lips as he marveled at the feel of her.

Gasping for breath, their foreheads touching and breaths hot against each other's lips, the steamy water still bearing down upon them, their eyes locked for one more moment before Tony slowly withdrew and pressed back into her, crushing his body against her in the scorching heat of the sensuous shower. "Fuck!" she growled, her hands groping for anything to hold onto, nails digging into skin as she rutted against him, meeting each sweet thrust of his hips with one of her own, causing both of them to groan, fierce, primal sounds borne of a fierce, primal need.

The shower continued to pelt them with droplets of sizzling water as they came together again and again, their bodies meeting first slowly, their thrusts hard and slow as they ground violently into each other, steadily increasing to a more fast, more frantic pace. "I … _fuck,"_ Tony groaned before taking her mouth with his, their tongues moving with their bodies, in tandem with their hearts beating against each other in the sweltering heat of the steam-filled shower.

Ziva pulled her lips from his, whispering out a sultry, "So good," against his mouth as she gazed deeply into his eyes, and he stilled momentarily, his cock throbbing with need as he stood inside her, just long enough to revel in the feel of her, wet but tight and hot and aroused around him, before driving into her again with renewed vigor, startling a loud yelp from her as she reacted to the feel of him pounding deep within her.

"You're _everything,"_ he groaned against her as he slowed, taking long, thorough strokes, feeling the need within him building and building and building, sure that any moment, he might go up in flames, the shower and the water be damned. Ziva reached for his hand, again grasping desperately for something to cling to, finding it there and clasping, their fingers tangling as he leaned against her, their hands clinging to one another as their hips met each other fiercely, their lips trembling with need.

" _God,"_ she breathed, her hand tightening on his, her hips raising to meet his with as much force as she could manage from her difficult positioning, his free hand circling around her waist to support her as they humped each other furiously, chasing their release under the deluge. It was wet, it was hot, and it was _them,_ and everything he'd ever envisioned and more between them as they clung to one another, their thrusting rapid and needy, so close … so … _close …_

"Faster," she begged, and he set her down, motioning for her to turn around, reaching to pull her ass toward him. She obliged, arching her back as she leaned against the shower wall, feeling him reach between her legs and enter her anew, a strangled, _"Yesssss,"_ passing from her lips, her accent thicker in her desire for him.

Tony reached again for one of her hands and grasped her fingers, thrusting toward her with a renewed sense of urgency, the new position giving him the leverage he needed to bring them both their release. Ziva matched him thrust for thrust, angling her hips back toward him and meeting him halfway, feeling him pound against her, the hot water between them only intensifying their pleasure.

"You feel …" she trailed off, unable to finish her thoughts as he pounded, _hard,_ against her, and she cried out, a word, Tony was sure, but one he didn't understand.

"I need…" he started, then groaned loudly in frustration, leaning forward to kiss her back, causing her to turn her head to meet his gaze. "I need to see you," he finished, stilling momentarily, his voice low and husky, his need so great. "When you come," he added, his eyes pleading with her as he stood behind her, his hard cock throbbing inside her. He was _so close,_ but god, he needed to see her, to see her face as he pleasured her, to see the way he eyes looked when he made her come again. "Please," he begged, and she twitched against him playfully, as he withdrew from her with a hiss.

"Lie down," she instructed, and he obeyed, leaning back against the wall of the shower as she adjusted the shower head, aiming it in such a way that their faces wouldn't catch the brunt of the stream bearing down upon them. She followed him to the ground, straddling him and taking him into her, throwing her head back at the feeling of _finally_ being reunited with him, after what had only been seconds had felt like an eternity apart, and she began to ride him, her hands pressed on his chest for leverage.

"Better?" she purred, leaning forward, continuing to ride him, her movements long and fast against him, her heat enveloping him with each thrust. He nodded, unable to speak as he watched her, the way she gazed at him as she moved, the way that her breasts bounced with the rhythm, and the sight of her taking him in with each thrust just _too_ much.

He reached to her hips and yanked her toward him, urging her to thrust upon him with more force. "Please," he croaked out, and Ziva could tell by the way his face was tightening that he was getting closer to his release. She thrust hard against him and he thrust up and into her, meeting her with the same intensity as she gave him. She leaned toward him again, reaching to nibble at his bottom lip, and he jerked upward, causing her to shriek in surprise.

"Fuck!" She gasped against his mouth, and before she could ask him to do it again, he repeated the motion, causing another loud expletive to pass from her lips. "Faster!" she begged, and he obliged, thrusting up and into her with all he could muster. She'd been on the verge for what seemed like an eternity, teetering at the brink of falling, and all she had needed was for him to take her there, take her with him, wherever he went, she would follow.

They were panting against each other as their bodies met repeatedly, the steam surrounding them as the water continued its assault against their soaked bodies, the tension mounting and the their bodies winding together, ready for the sweet, sweet release they'd been so carefully building together. "I'm gonna," he groaned, and Ziva nodded in agreement as if to say, _Yes, I am there …_ and one more hard thrust up and into her was all it took, and both of them were falling, falling … the water crashing over them like the waves of pleasure they'd tried for so long to postpone … she called his name as she came, her body quivering uncontrollably as he shot his release into her, a tangled, " _Ziva,"_ passing from his lips.

They lay together, their breaths coming out in long, exhausted pants, the water still pouring down, and if not for the sudden change in temperature, eliciting a yelp from Ziva and a curse from Tony, they might have lain there forever. As Ziva scrambled up off the floor, shutting off the water in the process, Tony leaned in toward her and took her mouth in his, a searing, sensual kiss that promised everything … and _more …_

When they finally pulled apart, Tony reached over and grabbed two towels, handing one to Ziva and not even attempting to keep from watching her dry off. "You're exquisite," he said softly, and although he hadn't meant to verbalize his thoughts, the way she looked at him over her shoulder as she secured the towel at her breast was all the assurance he needed that this was not going to be a one-time thing.

As they worked toward gathering their clothes, Tony spotted the tape measure lying on the floor and bent over to pick it up, offering it to his partner wordlessly. "Keep it," she insisted, and he grinned, shoving it into his bag wordlessly.

"Was it …?" he trailed off, not wanting to show the insecurity he felt, despite the fact that she'd gotten off, more than once, at his hand. And mouth. And dick.

She eyed him, dropping her gaze to the bulge at his pants and then looking him in the eye again. "It was more than adequate," she responded, a gleam in her eye. "You need not have worried."

She turned to pick up her panties – soaked from having lain right outside their marathon shower – and wrung them out over the drain before putting them in a bag to take home. "But if you would like to keep me convinced that you … _measure up …"_ she continued, "Then perhaps we should do this more often."

She pulled her pants on and zipped them up under the towel, never taking her eyes from him as she stared provocatively and added, "Just so I do not forget."

"I will refresh your memory whenever you want," he promised, and they stood there, just a moment, gazing at each other with a playful spark between them before putting on the rest of their clothes and leaving the locker room, shutting the door behind them as they walked out hand-in-hand.

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 **That's all she wrote (at least on this one)! I hope you enjoyed this latest interlude. I'm always trying to work on more and more fic, so please bear with me. Longer things are in the works! But I do so enjoy dropping these smutty one-shots at you all.**

 **Please take the time to leave a thought or two if you have the time. Thanks!**

 **Love, Julia**


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